May 1997, a flu that didn’t really want to be become a flu. During my time at home I decided I wanted to go to college after all so I informed my employer (who was probably not too sad to see me go after so much sick-leave) and was able to start school after what seemed like an eternity in bed. Back then I thought 2 months was eternal. The non-flu kept lingering on however, I managed to get through the first semester but then “it” came back full on and I became practically housebound aside from maybe crashing on a friend’s couch after a measly trip to the mall once a month. Sore throat, feverish, “fatigued” (worst description of every cell in your body yelling NO to movement), aching bones and an indistinct pain in the middle of my head (and my dad) drove me to the doctor’s office. Blood was drawn several times, results came back negative aside from a possible recent mono infection, I was getting annoying. After a while he allowed me to go to the internal specialist at the hospital. Another virus, Coxsackie B, was to blame and within a year I should be up and running, sailing, shopping, learning..
The year passed silently. Fully counting on the specialist’s estimate I enrolled for a second (and over the years even 3rd and 4th) time in college but even trýing to go was out of the question. I spent my days on the couch, behind the computer chatting to friends or staring at the wall or TV. Bed was for night-time only since it made my symptoms worse. And it became a family project; my mom would choose a (alternative) doctor or buy a book describing cures and we’d decide on where to go next, my dad would transport me to wherever the antibiotics, reiki or energetic healer was located. Most didn’t work or made me worse, some helped. One was SO out of the box that we giggled to each other “if you want to deceive people then come up with something less…quacky!” but it was in the next town and relatively cheap so off we headed. Those drops made my mild fever and sore throat disappear for the first time in years, but other than that things stayed pretty much the same. A real doctor with a degree and everything gave me abx for a Mycoplasma infection, which I was barely able to finish, I got so sick. And again no change, or so I thought. Since all else had failed I went back to the hocus-pocus-lady and asked for the drops again, this time just needed Epstein Barr, and all brain-hell broke loose. For weeks I couldn’t walk a straight line from dizziness and needed a bathroom within drunk-walking distance in case of returning meals. My brain, spine, even teeth started trembling and, by now desperate enough to try a plan B before symptoms from a plan A subsided, I went on a thyroid hormone try-out. Which turned the trembling into a pressure that could be compared to what you feel when you hit your thumb with a hammer, only, I hadn’t recently hit my brain. With anything.
Next up to join the circus were my eyes (here you see the lower eyelid being pulled inwards), throat, lower back and can even slightly feel it in my heart. An EEG, MRI and blood test show no abnormalities and since I feel a slow but steady progression health wise I’m going to try to keep this going, as odd as it sounds/looks, which is easier written than done because any change in especially thyroid levels seem to mess things up (those I think formerly infected nerve cells should start calling themselves Goldilocks ;)). Keep ya posted!